Another year with the same issue
One that I did not subscribe to
But each time without fail
It arrives.
Another day with another friend
Sending words of encouragement
That it won’t last forever
Except forever is here and refuses to leave
I want a refund, I never signed up for this
Please redirect the mail to someone else
Because,
Why me?
It has been 11 long years,
Not that I am counting of course.
But at least I am counting something
Even if it’s not my blessings
And no, I am not surprised
And I am yet to see what the Lord has done
I’ve gone far and wide
I’ve spent a little and I’ve spent a lot
I’ve prayed and I have fasted.
I’ve done all I can and still
It bleeds.
I hear He is coming.
I’ve heard about his exploits
Maybe I’ll go and see Him.
I have nothing to lose
Except my mustard seed
The crowd is large
Everyone wants to see Him.
Jesus is sold out
To the people and He is filled with compassion
I won’t be able to see Him up close and personal
But the crowd is ahead of me
And I’m running against the tide
Against the flow that threatens to come out
My faithful ‘friend’ gently reminding me that
I’ve got mail.
I’m pushing and shoving
And God forgive me but I just need to get to Him
Before my mustard seed withers
Because that is all I have
I can see the back of His head
And that is enough
I try to call Him but my voice is one of many
In this sea of hope
He does not hear me.
It hits me that I may not see Him
But I can touch Him.
If He can’t help me nobody else can.
And so I reach out.
If I can just touch the hem
That’s all I ask for
Just the hem of His Garment
I will be made whole
And in an instant everything changes
No more moistness
But He is off again and then He
Stops.
“Who touched me”
Silence. One of the disciples tries to brush it off
After all the crowd is large
But He is not budging.
“I felt power leave me”
And that’s when I come forward
Everyone touched Him but He did not touch everyone
The power leaving Him met my mustard seed
And allowed it to grow.
I step forward to confess.
At least I will see Him face to face.
“It is I. I touched you and immediately I’ve been made whole
12 years this issue plagued me but here, in an instant after I touched you
I’ve been healed.
Halleluiah I have been healed”.
He looks at me with love and says
“It is well my daughter. Your faith is what has made you whole.
Go on in peace”
And suddenly I am overcome
And awash with tears
Shame is no longer my surname.
I am whole.