In late June or early July I experienced something I hadn’t before. So, basically my friend and I were at a restaurant and this woman was asking around for money. For one reason or another she was sent out of the restaurant as we too were walking out. She then proceeded to ask me for money/ change which unfortunately I didn’t have. What happened next was unbelievable to be honest with you but I’ll write down the conversation as it happened- the most relevant parts anyway.


WOMAN:“You should stop wearing these weaves, you look ridiculous. All the other people are laughing at you. Embrace your natural hair”




She then proceeded to say some more nonsense which for the life of me I could care less to remember😉 . I chose not to say anything in response because it’s not worth it as it would be a waste of time and secondly because I was on my way to a church event. Ain’t nobody trying to be vexed before they go to church!😛


My friend was surprised and we talked briefly about what happened. I just couldn’t believe it really.


When others talk about experiencing ‘hostility’ from natural haired ladies I could never relate. I guess it is because I’ve been natural all my life and rarely, if ever wore weaves.  It got me thinking however that why does the hair of a black woman always have to be political? Honestly, I find it so annoying at times.


Why must there be a reason for you not going natural? In any case what is even natural these days? Some may argue that the addition of extensions to do braids, twists and the like isn’t strictly natural and I am tempted to see their point of view.  Others say that relaxed hair is still natural which to me could be true to a very limited extent.


My point is, not everyone adds weaves to try an achieve a eurocentric  look and to look more Caucasian. Sometimes you just want variety. Sometimes you just want to try a different look.


In any case, why should it matter? Life is short and hair is even shorter (for the majority) so why stress over it? There is more to our existence than hair.


If truth be told I wasn’t allowed to relax my hair; my mum was firmly against it. She said when I’m 16 I can decide what to do with my hair. Umm yeah, I’m 20 now and I just don’t want to relax my hair.  The natural hair movement has been great for so many reasons. It definitely taught me a lot about my hair and so on but there is another side where a few people take it to the extreme and it becomes nasty. There is no need to ‘look down’ on those in the ‘relaxed hair camp’. lol. Even typing it sounds ridiculous.


I propose a #lovethyself  movement. A movement where regardless of the state our hair is in we will love it anyway. You know those times where you’ve taken your hair out and are in-between getting it done by the hairdresser? For some girls they just won’t leave their hair as it is. But if we love ourself we wouldn’t mind leaving the house.Yes, we may decide to go install a new weave after but for the few days we have to go without we will be fine with it. It won’t be ‘disastrous’ . 


We would appreciate how our hair is naturally because at the end of the day when the weave comes off and the wig is carefully perched on the wig stand we still have our own actual hair to see and we must love it too.


So, do your hair how you like and don’t ever feel like you have to explain yourself to anyone because quite frankly, who are they anyway?