Hello you. Yes, you that is reading this post!😉 I’d like to ask what are your expectations in relationships-friendships to be precise? Take a moment to think about it then read on😛
My introduction was a little different this time but it’s for a good cause. Recently I’ve been thinking, “What do I expect from someone in a friendship?”. Another question is, “What do they expect from me in this friendship?”
You see we all have different needs and requirements. Problems can arise where one party feels that their expectations are not being met. Person A may want the other person to do everything with them whilst person B may not feel the need to involve A in every aspect of their life. As I’ve gotten older I see how important it is to ask yourself what exactly do I want.
Saying you have expectations in a friendship isn’t a bad thing and it certainly does not make one needy. Truth is, relationships are built on trust and trust is earned not given. It is also important to scale down your expectations when you see that the other party isn’t up to scratch. Now, that doesn’t mean that a big announcement must be made; “I’m burning bridges”. What it does mean is that you won’t feel disappointed if the person does something that before would have hurt you.
A good relationship requires communication and that is not often easy. You have to put in the work. If your friend comes to you and airs their grievances you have to be (wo)man enough to apologise and actively do something about it. It’s one thing to acknowledge the mistake and it is another to do something about it. Because at the end of the day we are all human and sometimes you yourself will be at fault. The day that you cease to take correction is the day you cease to grow.
It should be noted however that you shouldn’t place superhuman expectations on another person because that is basically setting them up for failure which
isn’t fair. Ultimately you should make allowances for people and be understanding. What you shouldn’t be is a doormat.
We all agree that we have different expectations for different people. The ones that hurt the most however are when it’s from someone you hold in high esteem.
In a nutshell if you’re not happy about something in a friendship say something! After, keep a keen eye and see if anything actually changes. If not, it is what it is. Scale
down your expectations of the person. That way there is no hard feelings and life goes on. After all, life is too short to be upset and besides, there are plenty more fish in this friendship sea😛😉